Welcome to the off-season.
Last year, Green Splatter published a piece on Nate Sexton’s calves …
It was always going to happen again – truly bottom-of-the-barrel stuff.
Regardless, this has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. On my laptop, I’ve got a running list of article topics I’d like to tackle – this one’s been collecting dust for well over 12 months.
Today’s the day.
Listen, I’m no prude. And I struggle to empathize with Tobias Fünke’s “never-nude” ways. Instead, even as someone who doesn’t turn beat-red easily, this is an issue of embarrassment. And not for me – but for the guys (plural) who enjoy communal toplessness out on the course.
Allow me to clarify …
This is an issue of perceived outfit coordination.
These five things can RUIN a night out with the boys:
- Item No. 1 – Too many tank tops.
- Item No. 2 – Too many polo shirts.
- Item No. 3 – Too many flat-bill hats.
- Item No. 4 – Too many pairs of sunglasses.
Should I show up to a restaurant, game night or the movie theater, and the math makes it seem like we’ve coordinated clothing beforehand, I’ll head straight back to my car to change …
It’s that important to me.
Outside of the beach, a public pool or a group spray-tanning session, there’s NO reason the majority of men in your party should shed their shirts – it’s the most vile of fashion faux pas.
It’s the alleged planning of it all that does me in …
Men don’t do that.
At least they shouldn’t – especially with their nipples showing.
Making matters worse, out on the course, these guys are usually in groups of five-plus golfers. Beer, flip-flops, an unleashed dog, a bluetooth speaker and a few shared fastback frisbees are par for the course with these cats. Also, there’s frequently a “Todd” amongst them, oddly enough.
Theirs is a topless production …
And one that takes 15-plus minutes to wrap-up a 250-foot hole.
You want to do away with your farmer’s tan, I’ll take your top off for you – it’s not like it’s an evil act. Heck, invite a buddy or two to join you, if you’re gun-shy about the whole thing. But when the ENTIRE gang’s in on the action, you’re asking for random-onlooker judgment …
And you’ll get it.
When in doubt, suit up, Barney Stinson …
There will be plenty of time for tickle-fighting after disc golf.
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Editor’s Suggestions:
- Review: The Discmania Cloudbreaker
- Disc golf: What’s a courtesy violation?
- Disc golf: You’re messing with your form too much
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don care
Fair enough.
No shirt. No shoes. No problem.