Lucas wrote about this a few months back. When it dropped, I read it. And while the point he makes is a solid one, I couldn’t help but think I could do a better job. That I could expound upon the main idea he’d vomited onto a laptop screen — this article is me attempting to do just that.
I hate losing discs; I hate stolen discs more.
Do you feel at all the same way?
Grab your Sharpie.
Let’s do this.
1. Big letters
This was the point of Lucas’ piece.
Again, I agree with it: When you write your name, digits and PDGA number on the back of a disc, do so in large, obnoxious-looking letters on either the front or back of it. Though this might feel like you’re defacing the Mona Lisa, there’s a purpose behind it – turning other people off.
Discs with zero or minimal ink resell at a higher rate. And even if money isn’t the end goal, should somebody find a potential thrower with mammoth lettering on it, they’ll need to scratch it off with a permanent marker to replace it with their own. Not only does this turn the disc into an eyesore, but it’s bound to get some reactions on the course, because, hey …
“That’s not yours.”
Ugly discs don’t always get returned.
But there’s a better chance of it.
2. Offer up a trade
Money is a great reward, but most don’t have enough of it.
Instead, on the back of your disc, write something along the lines of, “Trade Reward If Lost.” Most disc golfers have so many dust-collecting discs in the trunk of their cars, it’s terrifying. While they’re not likely Sexton Firebirds, odds are high there’s some enticing stuff in there.
Remember: You just need to pique a potential thief’s interest.
If it’s plastic they’re after, satisfy their fix.
3. Make it a canvas
Full disclosure, I’ve never done this …
I suck at drawing.
But Kona (Panis) Montgomery sure has – click here to check it out.
The idea is to transform the underside of your disc into a work of art. You can do this with a quality dye-job, but that’s likely to decrease your chances of ever seeing your precious flier again. Keep it simple: The Sharpie you perma-keep in your bag should do the job just fine.
Draw what you see – or what you’re passionate about: birds, trees, landscapes, Big 12 football, etc. The more you can tattoo a disc with personal sentiment, the better the chance it comes home.
4. Pen a phony memory
Speaking of sentiment …
Summon your inner Jane Austen with a tear-jerking note:
- “Rest in peace, Spot.”
- “Happy birthday, Michael.”
- “To the next 25 years, Tiffany.”
And while I believe the tradition of having all witnesses sign an ace disc is idiotic, faking a few signatures on the back of one you don’t want to lose isn’t the worst idea in the world. Even the scummiest of disc golfers knows how tragic it would be to not have a chain-smasher returned.
5. Go with a girl’s name (and handwriting)
Sex sells.
Because of it, as sad as it sounds, this is probably the MOST effective method on this list. By no means do I think many lonely male disc golfers use returning lost discs as a means of nabbing dates, but hey – it could happen, right? If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can see it …
“Dear Penthouse, do I have a story to tell you …”
Back to reality.
Men suck. Women don’t. Instead of pairing your name with your phone number, write your girlfriend’s or wife’s name. Better yet, to really drive home the deception, have them write it all cute-like on the back, too. Bonus points if she dots her I’s with adorable hearts and smiley faces.
* Note: Regardless of gender, please don’t meet up with somebody alone to exchange discs.
Deceitful? Yes.
Bad karma? Maybe.
But worse than all of this is outright stealing somebody else’s stuff …
I sleep well at night.
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Editor’s Suggestions:
- Disc golf: Don’t buy a cheap bag (you’ll regret it)
- Disc golf: Subscription boxes are (almost) never worth it
- Gripe No. 43: The best disc golfer on the card endlessly complaining
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I draw shark fins on the rims with a sharpie.🦈 Out of the disc I own I have only lost a couple.
That’s interesting …
What purpose do they serve exactly?
Just something unique to you, perhaps?
Your articles are usually surface dwelling commentaries without much substance, but at least they dont usually reek of sexism. This was difficult to read. Do better.. either way im not impressed and wont be back and i wont be missing much
You’ll be missed, Jimmy!
Happy throwing 🙂
Jimmy recognizing the fact that men are the majority of disc golf players is not sexist. Assuming that if you put a girl’s name a guy will call you back is also not sexist but I do have Kate’s disc for a long time now so it doesn’t always work LOL
I had the coolest crystal z buzz from a tourney that I actually won and I caught up with the guy that i know grabbed it. (There’s no other possibility) He denied it but I could tell he was guilty but couldn’t back down from his initial lie that he hadn’t taken it. Great disc; it wouldn’t flip but instead pan right ever so gradually before landing flay. Anyway…
Ouch, sounds like a rough situation …
Maybe it’ll find its way back to you?
Perhaps the Disc Golf Gods will have something to say about this?
So now that you have entered into a sport that you are finally ok at, put hearts and chick names on your work tools, along with bs memories….dude, you have proven you never had a mind to lose.
I write ‘please text as I’m hard of hearing and have cognitive issues, thank you.’ Neither is untrue. As I have tinnitus and extremely severe ADHD and am dyslexic. But I’m not deaf and I’m definitely using it to make a thief feel that much worse. No one has ever even mentioned it when returning a disc either.
I enjoy when mine are returned. Sometimes they aren’t. I guess you could call it stealing, but it isn’t. If I lose something and you find it you don’t have to return it. I would, but you don’t have to. Sometimes I figure it’s destiny someone else finds it and maybe gets even more enjoyment out of it than I did. Guess it depends when ya grew up. When I grew up CD’s and disc golf discs just kinda came and went.
Luckily my name can be a girls name and my wife writes it for me. Hopefully I can find new disc golf buddies with guys trying to find dates! 🤣
I don’t even write my name on my disc. If it gets lost, that one sucked anyways. And it is not stealing if you lost your disc in the woods and didn’t care enough to keep looking for it. If you figure someone else is just going to find your disc for you and call you to give it back, so you stop looking for it, that’s on you. That’s just laziness. If you want your disc back, find it. It’s not on me to find your disc for you. If I find one sitting in the middle of the fairway or still in the basket then I will call, it’s obvious someone just forgot to pick up their disc. But if it’s in the woods, finders keepers bro. I’m not your personal disc hunter.
The course giveth and the course taketh away. I don’t write anything except my initials on my discs, and it’s asinine for the author to brand the finder of a lost disc as a thief.
Big12? lololololololololololo
Have a 3d printed clip glued into the measured center of your discs, snap in an air tag before you throw it.
Any effect on the toss haven’t yet been noticed.
Find your disc Everytime.
And write legibly! I’ve found countless discs with phone numbers hastily scribbled. If I can interpret your number, you’ll get a text. If not, my son gets a new disc to add to his collection!
Good Lord some people on the internet are ugly. No one is attempting to say that anybody is responsible for finding their disc but it’s just common courtesy to try to return one if you can. Also the you left it in the woods so you don’t care about it statements are not necessarily true. If I’m playing with two or three friends it’s not like I can look all day long for my disc. At some point for their sake I have to give up and move along but that doesn’t mean I don’t really want that disc back. I have a few favorite discs that I write cash reward if found on the bottom. Most courses have drop boxes now. It takes very little effort to send a text and drop it in the box
Man, you’re lucky …
VERY few “drop boxes” on disc golf courses in Utah.
Can think of two, but that’s it – gotta pick it up!
Well crap my bad. A good portion of the courses around Atlanta have them. I guess I just assumed that everybody did
TurboJoe, you guys know what you’re doing out on the East Coast …
We’re still kind of “figuring it out” here in Utah.
In due time, though – more of ’em will pop up, I’m sure.
Here’s the thing about putting a female name on your disk if you are ACTUALLY female. It is a safety issue. No I don’t think I want to meet someone to get my disk back if there is the slightest chance they only want to meet me because it has a female name on it. Remember that meme about the bear vs the unknown man? This is the reason women pick the bear kids.
Great point, Amanda!
Appreciate the female perspective with this …
Makes sense 🙂
Gotta stay safe out there!