Gripe No. 43: The best disc golfer on the card endlessly complaining

Complaining.

I never knew how much I hated it until I had kids. It’s only now as a parent I realize how bad my own mom and dad must’ve had it with snot-faced Lucas – the irony of life can be a cruel thing.

Thankfully, in spite of my army of toddlers’ incessant, random demands, I love them. And on top of that, when I need an escape from it all, I’ve got a host of disc golf courses near my home.

As I see it, disc golf’s not only an instant, physical release from the stresses of life – you know, things like parenthood. Even better, outside the walls of my home and office, should I feel the need to let loose with some fiery, impassioned complaints of my own, I simply go for it.

Nothing over-the-top or anything, but on occasion, I’ll admit it: It feels REALLY good to at least attempt to summon a bolt of lightning from heaven to obliterate an ill-placed tree. Of course, this is more of a casual-round thing with a few close friends – little more than light-hearted laughter.

Whether sanctioned or not, during full-blown tournaments, no matter how bad things are going, I keep to myself. That way, I safeguard my sanity, while also not making a spectacle of myself for others seeking to do the same. There’s at least one situation, however, in which I can’t handle on-course complaining. More specifically, there’s one person from whom I can’t handle it …

The guy who’s EASILY the best disc golfer on the card.

On that day, at least.

It’s disc golf’s version of the humble brag. If the “humble brag” is a new concept for you, it’s basically when someone makes a self-deprecating comment, but due to obvious circumstances, it’s plainly more of a back-door compliment than anything else – and about the person saying it.

For example, should a supermodel claim she’s “hideous without makeup on” in front of a bunch of soccer moms, it’d be a humble brag, because, you know – she’s clearly a smokeshow.

In the disc golf world, an example of this would be a gifted disc golfer complaining about how much he “sucks at approaching the basket,” immediately after smashing a circle-two putt. Yes, he left his approach short, but given his putt, it’s apparent he’s got enough talent to survive.

You hear this kind of complaining with all sorts of stuff: sub-400-foot drives, missed ace-runs, chain-out throw-ins, almost-eagles, etc. The rest of us suck; you’re God’s gift to disc golf.

And it’s your humility that inspires such greatness.

We get it.

Remember: Your version of “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today” might very well be somebody else’s all-time effort. For the protection of your own reputation, I beg of you …

Read the room.

As long as you do your best to keep the complaints to a minimum, you’ll be fine. But if you’re shredding, and nobody else is, you’ll quickly become the single-most hated guy on the card.

My advice?

Grip it. Rip it.

And then, zip it.

That’s all.

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