5 of the dumbest white-elephant disc golf gifts

Disc golf is a simple game.

As such, when companies within the sport want to bring something new to market, they’ve got to think outside the proverbial box. Sometimes, that leads to a smash-hit product. Other times, however, it’s abundantly clear that brands are trying a BIT too hard on their part …

Just in time for the holidays, here are five examples of that …

This should be fun.

1. The DiscDot

I mean, I guess this could work?

As long as you’ve got a pair of fully functioning eyeballs, though, this shouldn’t be needed. Be it from 15 feet or 35 feet, when there’s a specific part of the chains I want to hit, I’m capable of identifying it and going for it without introducing a colored ping pong ball into the equation.

And if you’re not, wrap a link in neon duct tape.

Problem solved.

2. The RipitGrip

Slick teepads are a problem …

PDGA-approved, the RipitGrip could be a solution.

The problem here is that the RipitGrip is microscopic. As the point of it is to be convenient, I get it. You can’t be seen hauling a full-blown yoga mat out to the course. But even the towels some professionals place at the end of teepads on rainy days are bigger than what RipitGrip offers.

* Note: RipitGrip does offer an “XL” model, and it’s ridiculous-looking – see below.

Helpful?

Eh, maybe …

But probably not.

3. The Zing Mini

If ever there was a product to feed disc golf stereotypes …

This is it.

Outside of disc golf, much of the regular sporting world views disc golfers as either smashed, high-as-a-kite or some combination of the two – and this, during competition. This year, the Babylon Bee even took a jab at the greater disc golf community – click here to check it out.

The Zing mini is a mini-marker disc that doubles as a lid for an open can of beer. That way, when stumbling around the course in a half-inebriated state, your Natty Light doesn’t take a tumble. Yes, it would work just as well atop a can of Cherry 7UP, but let’s not kid ourselves …

You’re (likely) working with something WAY harder.

I’d guess Zing gets some solid traction with buyers …

Not sure if that’s a good thing.

4. The DGA Blowfly I

This’ll ruffle some feathers, and I don’t care …

The DGA Blowfly I (and II) is a comically floppy putter – like, Mission tortillas soft. And while I’m singling out the Blowfly in this post, there are others out there just like it: the Koi and SSSS Wizard, just to name a couple. If this level of give is required for you to get a putter to hit and stick near the basket or in the chains, your game might have more to work on than you think.

With so much inventory overlap in the industry, flaccid frisbees HAVE to exist …

Somebody will buy them …

And they do.

5. The Infinite Discs Holster

This is bad …

And I know the Infinite Discs guys – this is REALLY bad.

It’s not uncommon for regular parkgoers to think somebody hauling 30-plus discs is dumb. They’ll often ask something along the lines of, “Do you really need all those frisbees?” Genuinely curious people do exist, but yeah – it’s usually a smart-arse inquiry …

Whatever.

Though I don’t carry many discs myself, I get it when guys fork over their firstborns for a Pound Octothorpe. Or when they insist on pushing around a top-of-the-line ZÜCA cart. But voluntarily rocking this monstrosity in public is grounds for bullying like I’ve NEVER seen before …

Hold your loved ones close.

Turn some heads this Christmas …

I love white-elephant gift-giving – laughter is the goal.

Yes, some will hardcore get their undies in a bundle over the above, swearing that any one of the aforementioned items is a tried-and-true game-changer for their average-round ratings.

To you, I have some suggestions:

• Step No. 1 – Pour a cold glass of eggnog.
• Step No. 2 – Put on the O.G. “Home Alone.”
• Step No. 3 – Learn to laugh at yourself a bit more.

There will be plenty of time for online bickering in the new year …

Until then, godspeed.

Have anything to add? Take to Twitter to let us know – we’ll actually (for real) get back to you.

Editor’s Suggestions:

• Disc golf: How to remove Sharpie from a disc
• Why live disc golf trounces post-produced coverage
• Jeff Spring: Will the DGN do away with post-produced coverage?

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