Green Splatter spotlight: 19 questions for Zach Melton having zero to do with disc golf

I’ve always wanted to do this interview …

One in which the professional in question is literally posed ZERO questions about disc golf. I’m sure I’ll do another one (or five) of these in the future. But for the first one, I had to find the right kind of guy to ensure the experiment wouldn’t fall flat on its face: Zach Melton was perfect.

• Giant beard? Check.
• White-man afro? Of course.
• Southpaw? No doubt about it.

Here’s how our conversation unfolded …

Enjoy.

What are the last four digits of your social security number?

“Um …

“Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero.”

What’s the single-most interesting thing in your refrigerator?

“That’s a good question …

“I want to say a little mini jar of Ole Smoky Moonshine.

“It’s pecan-pie flavored; it’s pretty much candy in a jar.”

What’s the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten at on the road? What do you recommend?

“There was actually a brewery that I went to in Arizona when I used to play the Memorial. I would get a peanut butter and jelly burger – it was incredible. I don’t remember the name of the restaurant, though.

“I wish I did, because I’ve been there three times, and each time I went, I felt it was the best burger I’d ever had in my life. It’s cooked with peanut butter. It comes with bacon. And it comes with a jelly sauce you can dip it in. Or, you can put it on the burger yourself.

“It’s awesome.”

When was the last time you were clean-shaven?

“It’s been a long time …

“That would’ve been 2012.”

What beard- and hair-care products do you use to maintain your look?

“Honestly, I use a pick to comb it out. I’ve got a beard brush, too. But I really just like how the pick feels. And products? I don’t really use that much on it. I have a little beard balm that I’ll sometimes use, but yeah – I pretty much just shampoo that thing, man.

“Head & Shoulders.”

Before you became a professional disc golfer, what would your dream job have been?

“Some type of job in sports, whether it be broadcasting or coaching. I think I could call games on the radio, you know? Something involved in sports would’ve been my dream job, for sure.”

If you could be a professional in any other sport, what would it be?

“If you’d asked me three years ago, I would’ve said basketball. Basketball was my first love. I still watch it to this day – college and the NBA, mainly. There’s a local, high-school basketball tournament that happens around Christmas every year, and I go watch it, as well.

“I just love basketball.

“In the last few years, though, it would have to be pickleball. Pickleball is so much fun. There are a lot of similarities between pickleball and disc golf right now – similar stages of growth.”

What’s your professional plan after disc golf?

“I think it would be to stay involved in the sport, whether that be as a team manager, team captain, a mentor – maybe an on-site coach of some sort. I’ll look for some way to stay involved.

“I love disc golf, and I enjoy it. I think passing on knowledge is one of the best things you can do. And I think one thing I do better than just about anybody is keeping others positive, focused, hyped, loose – that’s just something I’m really good at.

“But, yeah – something along those lines.

“It might even be a job that’s not yet been created, but some role like that.”

What sports teams are you most passionate about?

“In college, the Tennessee Vols …

“Obviously.

“I’ve also always been interested in the North Carolina Tar Heels basketball team. My oldest brother was a big fan of theirs when I was little, and I just remember listening to him talk about them, so it made me want to like them. You know what I mean? Brothers do that sometimes.

“And in the NBA, I’ve been a Celtics fan for a long time. Like, since the mid- to late-90s – back when they were trash. They played a fun brand of basketball. They shot a lot of threes. I thought that was entertaining to watch. So I’ve been a fan of theirs through the ups and downs.

“And then, you know, they got Ray Allen and KG to join Paul Pierce, and it was like they were suddenly amazing. That was cool. And now they’re good again, which is nice.

“But besides them, I’m just a fan of watching fun basketball. Like, watching basketball played the right way. Move the ball. Share the ball. The Spurs come to mind. Not necessarily when Tim Duncan first got there, but when they had Parker and Ginobili and all those guys who could shoot the ball. Their offense was awesome to watch.

“The Warriors are fun to watch, too.

“If you’re not a fan of Steph Curry, you’re just a hater.”

What posters did you have hanging on the walls in your room growing up?

“It was all basketball.

“I used to get SLAM Magazine growing up. You know, we’d go to a bookstore, and I’d beg my mom to get me a SLAM Magazine. Back then, I think the posters that would come from the NBA All-Star Game were the coolest.

“There’d be one guy dunking and four or five All-Stars in the background. KG, Kobe and AI were always in ‘em. Maybe that Vince Carter dunk during the 2000 Slam Dunk Contest.

“That one was pretty wild.”

Build out an All-Pro Tour basketball team: Who are the starting five, and where are they playing?

“This is a good question …

“We’ve actually talked about this before.

“I’ll hurt some feelings if I leave somebody out, but that’s okay. In general, out on the road, what always happens is that I have a team and Uli has a team. He and I have never played together. 

“Jerm is almost always on Uli’s team, but I would probably pick up Jerm as my big man, because Jerm played some college ball. Jerm’s good. And if we’re going to go back in time when Jerm was in-shape, he was killing it. But he’s gonna be at the five.

“Not many guys are taller than Jerm. He’s six-foot, six-inches, I believe? Nice jumper. He’ll want to drift outside a bit too much, so I’ll have to get onto him about staying in the paint. But Jerm would be a good stretch-five.

“At the four, I’m gonna go with more of a run-and-gun team, so Vinny. Interesting fact: He never played organized basketball growing up. He started playing a lot at Florida in the rec center. For someone who’s never played organized ball, Calvin can play, dude.

“He’s a hustler. With his length, he’s a shut-down defender. He’s fast. He runs. And he’s a shooter, too. People wouldn’t think it, but he’s a shooter. So he’s my stretch-four.

“At the three, I’d put myself – or whatever you want to call it. I’ll put myself up against ANYBODY shooting the ball on the Pro Tour, that’s for sure.

“I’ve got to put my dude Zach Arlinghaus at the two. He just got done playing high-school basketball. I’ve got to have him with me.

“And then that fifth spot is either Uli or Cale. Cale is a really good basketball player. We’ve yet to get to play together, but everybody tells me about how good Cale is, so I feel like it’ll just be funnier to say Cale, because then Uli will get mad at me. But no, really, it’s a toss-up between those two. I’ve played with Uli more, and he’s a shooter. But, yeah – I’m gonna go with Cale.

“To add some context to this, at Idlewild, Little Zach’s grandad has a full-size basketball court in his house. We always play pick-up there. I used to play a lot more, but now, that’s pretty much the only week of the year I play full-court basketball.

“And it always ends up being Uli, Drew, Jerm, AB and Adam – they bring their little squad. And on the other end, it’s me, Calvin, Zach and whoever else we can get to fill in. I don’t want to fire shots or anything, but we do always win.”

What’s it like being a left-handed guy in a right-handed world?

“It sucks.

“That one’s easy.”

Who would you love to find yourself stuck in an elevator with?

“I’ll go with Zach Galifianakis.

“That dry humor? I love it.

“I think I could mess with him as much as he likes to mess with people.”

What’s one conspiracy theory you could get onboard with?

“The 2002 Lakers vs. Kings series was rigged.

“The foul calls in that Game Six to get it to a Game Seven?

“Unbelievable.”

What’s the greatest movie you’ve ever seen? Let’s do a TV show, too.

“This has gotta be personal, right?

“I can’t just cruise with what everybody says …

“The first one that comes to mind is ‘Remember the Titans.’ That is such a good movie. It brings all the feels out. I think it has a good message. That one’s awesome.

“I literally think the best Western ever made – and it’s up there as ‘best movie’ for me – is ‘Open Range.’ It’s got Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall. It came out in the last 15-ish years, I’d say. 

“You’re talking about the music that goes with it, the scenery, the actors – come on, man. I’m telling you, anybody who hasn’t seen it, watch it, and tell me I’m wrong.

“And for the television show, I’m gonna say ‘The Office.’

“That one’s easy, too.”

What album would you play on repeat to pass a four-hour road trip?

“What’s crazy is that I don’t really listen to much music on the road …

“I’ve become a podcast guy.

“Still, if you wanted a funny answer, I could say Kanye’s gospel album. But in all seriousness, ‘Macrodosing’ is my go-to podcast. Barstool’s PFT Commenter: He paired up with Arian Foster. But, yeah – that’s the podcast.

“It’s kind of a conspiracy podcast. They deep-dive different subjects each week. I really love it, though, because shows are anywhere from two-and-a-half to three-and-a-half hours, which is good for travel.

“The first hour is usually just the guys bashing on each other, so it’s fun.

“It’s good stuff.”

Who plays Zach Melton in a movie about your life?

“Tom Cruise.”

What’s the proper way to install toilet paper?

“It’s definitely NOT the mullet, where it goes down the back …

“It’s got to be in the front.”

Your celebrity crush is __________.

“Calvin Heimburg.”

That was actually fun …

Usually, when I do these interviews, they’re cool and all, but they result in a buttload of work on the backend for myself. Transcribing half-hour convos isn’t an awesome gig …

I have to say, though – I enjoyed this. Yes, the original conversation with Zach was fun, but so was listening to it the second time around for this article. Mr. Melton is a gem of the Pro Tour circuit. Fans love him. Players do, too. Dynamic Discs is lucky to have him as team captain.

Cherish this man, friends …

He deserves it.

Have anything to add? Take to Twitter to let us know – we’ll actually (for real) get back to you.

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