I’m allergic to every type of grass in the state of Utah.
And I’m not making that up, either.
Seven or eight years ago, armed with craptastic health insurance, I paid $800 out of pocket for one of those high-end allergy tests where they prick your back a half-million times to find out what’s wrecking your sinuses. The results showed grass does me in, but it’s more than that: mold, trees, weeds, etc. And randomly, horses are animals that could potentially kill me …
And not with a roundhouse.
When I come into contact with ANY of the above and am unable to take a hot shower within three or four hours, the results are nightmare fuel: hives, itching, coughing, watery eyes and sneeze attacks, just to name a few symptoms. There’s even this, if you can believe it …
That’s me.
And no, apart from the makeshift shades, that photo’s not been doctored.
As an active disc golfer, this spells trouble …
Especially in the spring.
The winter-spring swing is a harsh one. Just when you think both your body and morale can’t take another round of cold, snowy disc golf, spring shows up to kick you in the metaphoric groin with incessant bouts of hay fever. Yes, the greenery of springtime signals rebirth for most …
But for the allergy-sufferer in your life, it’s death.
In disc golf, grass can’t be avoided – it’s nature’s carpet. And if you disc golf anything like me, your frisbees aren’t as keen on staying in the fairway as those of more Pro Tour-level golfers. Unfortunately, the tall grass and trees found OFF of it are none-too-kind to the allergically pathetic. You know what else is over there? Mother-freaking poison oak and ivy …
Don’t even get me started.
Eye drops, nasal spray and Zyrtec or Claritin can help. Benadryl’s a godsend before bed, too. And local honey might sound a bit hippie on the surface, but if you’re regular with it, it works.
It’s spring.
And soon, it’ll be summer.
For most, there’s no better time for disc golf. But for as much as you enjoy the sun-kissed disc golf of April, May and June, others dread it. No thanks to allergies, while you’re out and about in a tank top working on a base tan, countless disc golfers are dressed for what would appear to be an Antarctic expedition, terrified of bare skin coming into contact with an allergic trigger …
“It’s the hard-knock life.” – Annie
Remember the allergy-sufferer in your life, hacking up a lung on a nearby teepad …
They could use a hug.
And a Kleenex, too.
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I feel it, dude! I had my sneezing stuff about a fortnight ago. Not nearly as bad as you, but still annoying.