I might be bad at disc golf …
But I’m dang-good at coming up with excuses for it.
Below, you’ll find six of the most commonly used by golfers like myself.
Feel free to employ them as you see best fit.
1. ‘I’m playing hurt’
This one’s funny.
Three or four years ago, I battled a bad case of tennis elbow. Things are better now, but my elbow still twinges from time to time. On occasion, my shoulder will get in on the action, too.
Thankfully, neither of these are pressing issues. It’s the strangest thing, though. The instant my scorecard starts accumulating bogeys, incredibly, my elbow (or shoulder) starts aching again.
I can’t explain it.
And I don’t care to try, either.
2. ‘I couldn’t catch a break’
This is a catch-all excuse.
It’s a less wimpy way of going the “bad luck” route.
Personally, this isn’t one of my go-to complaints. But I hear it so frequently from others, I couldn’t NOT include it on this list. If you needed a friendly reminder, today’s the day:
- Everybody plays the same course.
- Everybody putts on the same baskets.
- Everybody throws from the same teepads.
- Everybody navigates the same (stationary) trees.
Sorry about all this …
The truth cuts deep.
3. ‘I just couldn’t hit a putt’
While stating the obvious, it’s true …
If you aren’t putting well, your final score will suck.
As correct as it might be, my beef with using this as an excuse is that putting is literally half of disc golf – and the more important half, at that. Lobbing this excuse is on par (pun intended) with complaining about getting your vowel-placement wrong during a spelling bee. Vowels are part of every word in the English language. Likewise, putting is required on ALL disc golf holes.
If you can’t hit a putt, that’s on you.
4. ‘I can’t believe this wind’
I’ll give it to you …
This is sometimes valid.
When the wind sustains 25-plus, it’s hard not to laugh at life.
As a painfully amateur disc golfer, however, I know how the amateur mind works. It doesn’t matter if you’re facing a 5 mph headwind or a 25 mph headwind – you’re complaining either way. Both before the putt, as well as after you clank that Aviar of yours off the front of the cage.
5. ‘I’m just out here to have fun’
This is my favorite.
Once your round has become a steamy pile of poo, it’s comforting to remind yourself that you have a wife, children and nine-to-five job that pays the bills – disc golf is just for giggles.
On the flip side of things, though, as soon as you find yourself in a heated (and competitive) battle for little more than bragging rights, there’s suddenly a life-or-death aura about you.
Pick a lane.
Then, stay in it.
6. ‘I was slipping all over the place’
If this is a teepad issue, buy new shoes – or one of these dumb things.
And if this is a finger issue, toss some chalk (or clay) in your bag.
Or, keep things as they are – it’s nice to have a bonafide excuse in the chamber.
The good news?
Even the Pro Tour complains.
In fact, perhaps the most powerful excuse of all is completely non-verbal. Simply keep your mouth shut and toss a few blades of grass into the air after a bad shot or sucky putt.
Add it to the repertoire.
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My favorite excuse when I’m having a very off day is that when I finally really mess something up like send a disc into the abyss I’ll stand on the pad sort of replaying what I did and then announce to the group “Ah. I see what the problem is.”
Which usually elicits someone to ask what that problem is.
“I’m just not very good at disc golf”
Permission to steal this for personal use?
Sure. With my compliments.
Many thanks, brotha!