Disc golf: Tossing a ‘tombstone’ is freaky satisfying

By: Lucas Miller

I’m not talking about the frozen-pizza brand.

I’m not talking about the Lone Star Disc lineup, either.

And sorry, Disney fans, this has nothing to do with the Haunted Mansion:

Flickr: The Haunted Mansion

Well, I guess that’s not entirely true …

Keep the shape of a literal tombstone in mind with this – even the ones at Magic Kingdom. In disc golf, a “tombstone” is a disc that comes into contact with the ground edge-first. And when it does, it penetrates it and stays firmly put, maintaining the upright look of a traditional tombstone.

Sans the dead, decomposing body, of course.

Miss you, grandma.

Also, depending on where you live, “land shark” might be the term you hear most commonly used, because it looks like a fin – clever. Regardless of the name you prefer, it’s the same thing.

X: @RowanTree37

Soft, moist ground is ideal for producing tombstones. You’ll usually find this on a freshly watered course or right after a heavy rainstorm. And the less grass, the better. Dirt-heavy fairways and putting greens make for straight-up graveyards – less layers to get through.

Furthermore, seeing as how they’re sharper, beveled-edge discs like fairway and distance drivers tend to yield more tombstones. This is especially true when thrown on a hyzer or grenade line. Here’s Kevin Jones checking each of the aforementioned boxes with his own tombstone:

How fun was that?

Better yet …

How satisfying was that?

For me, throwing a true hit-and-stick shot like a tombstone is one of the few things in an otherwise maddening sport like disc golf that scratches the obsessive-compulsive itches I so frequently have. When coming to rest (in peace) near the pin, there’s a feeling of wholeness. That everything is right with what’s happened – that God himself has signed off on things.

Forget the roll. Screw the skip.

No putting required.

THIS is equilibrium.

Remember when “satisfying” videos made it big on YouTube a few years back? If you’re at all mildly OCD like me, the tombstone is disc golf’s version of virtually everything in this clip:

And I can’t be alone in this, because it’s all but impossible to toss a tombstone without pulling out your smartphone to snap a picture of it for social media. Images of these things are all over the place. Disc golfers love them, so they share them. And if you think I’m making this up for some stupid article, even the PDGA has called out its own community for the practice.

Click here to see for yourself.

It’s oxymoronic, but true …

Long live the tombstone.

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Lucas Miller

Lucas Miller is the founder and editor-in-chief of Green Splatter. When he’s not out tossing a Champion Rhyno in his native Utah, he’s watching true-crime documentaries with his wife, wrestling his twin boys and praying the Oklahoma City Thunder’s rebuild passes quickly.

2 thoughts on “Disc golf: Tossing a ‘tombstone’ is freaky satisfying”

  1. This should be the anti skip. I feel like my tombstones always dig in when I’m hoping for a little ground play to get me a little closer to the basket.

    Where i live, the course is always wet. Thanks Marine Layer. So tombstones are pretty common but thankfully it’s all grass, no mud.

    I don’t think I’m as passionate about them as you, but i appreciate your love. And will think of you now on hole 8 every time i play. Errrrr basket 8. There’s no hole.

    Reply

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