Now that you’ve found the first love of your life, how do you introduce them to your second?
All too often, my league mates tell me how jealous they are that my wife plays disc golf. And not just to make me happy – she genuinely loves the sport. Heck, even my own brother is always asking me for tips about how to get my sister-in-law out to the course with him …
Can you relate to ANY of this?
If so, here’s a three-step process on how to make things right:
* Note #1: This article’s been written for husbands about their wives – this is my setup.
* Note #2: Fortunately, regardless of gender or type of relationship, these methods will work.
* Step No. 1, The trick: Convince her to tag along
In my experience, these are the three best ways to make it happen …
- Quality time. No matter where “quality time” ranks in your wife’s love languages, it’s always appreciated. Offer up your need for a playing partner – it’s an easy enough role to fill. Be aware of your wife’s schedule, but even if there’s a conflict, the fact that you thought of her before any of your idiot friends should score you some bonus points.
- Easy exercise. Disc golf is really just a fancier form of hiking – you carry toys in a backpack, so it’s better. Whether or not your spouse is into fitness, everybody benefits from a walk. Walking boosts the immune system, improves heart health, lifts moods and aids in digestion – nothing’s sexier than a healthy colon. My wife asks me (not the other way around) to go disc golfing, even if she doesn’t want to play – the exercise is great.
- Sunshine and scenery. Not every course is as picturesque as Milo McIver, but there’s plenty of beauty to take in, and – depending on the time of year – sunshine, too. My wife is like a house plant – not enough sun, and she gets “droopy.” That’s her adjective – not mine. Disc golf immediately provides both of us with plenty of fresh air and vitamin D.
* Step No. 2, The trap: Keep her engaged
I’ll say this right from the get-go …
Just because the wifey tags along, doesn’t mean she wants to throw. Play it cool – pressuring somebody isn’t a great way to get what you want, especially when done under the guise of “fun.”
Drenched (or glistening) in sweat, having your wife tote around 25-plus of your favorite discs isn’t a good look, but if playing the role of “caddie” is what helps her get involved, there’s nothing wrong with it. Take a queue from both Bobby and Dr. Leo Marvin: “Baby steps.”
And remember …
- Pick an easy course. There’s no quicker way to lose all of the ground you’ve gained than playing a brutal course. The first setup I played with my wife was a short, pitch-and-putt course at a nearby college campus. Since then, whenever we play tougher layouts, I remind her that there are easier courses out there – we’ll head that way next time.
- Give her one disc. Going with a midrange is ideal, but most beginners like the feel of a fairway driver – either way, don’t be a stickler about it. Whatever she chooses, make sure it’s plenty understandable, as there’s a better chance she’ll see the disc fly properly. That quickly boosts confidence. Later, she can experiment with different discs.
- Don’t keep score. This round is for her to have fun – NOT your UDisc stats. It’s super disheartening to be brand new and playing with some meathead who takes things WAY too seriously. Screw the rules. Take one, two or fifteen mulligans – just have fun.
- No coaching. Easy there, Geronimo – just let her do her thing. Yeah, it can be rough to watch the woman you love struggle, but remember: You’re hardly the second coming of Ken Climo. If she asks for advice, give it, but keep it short, sweet and simple – and don’t use your “bossy voice,” either: Throw from a standstill, let the disc do the work, etc.
- Be Patient. She’s going to get frustrated. She’s going to play slowly. She’s going to make the same mistakes over and over (and over) again. It’s gravy, man. You’re playing disc golf. If this is the biggest thing to try your patience, you’re doing well. Encourage your wife. One throw can make ALL the difference. My wife hit a 120-foot shot with her Dynamic Discs Freedom her first time out – it was her eighth throw, but she was hooked.
That’s how it’s done, gentlemen.
And lastly …
* Step No. 3, The treat: Wrap up the outing
When in doubt …
Imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery, but bribery is the deepest form of love …
Use it wisely.
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