Gripe No. 53: Disc golfers who sign the basket after an ace

The ace is awesome.

As a disc golfer, if you don’t have one, you want one. And if you do have one, you want another one. And if you have so many, you’ve lost track of the total tally, it doesn’t really matter …

To quote Oliver Twist:

“I want some more.”

Of course, given the feat, when you do nab one, feel free to cycle through the regular, celebratory rigmarole. Naturally, you’ll want to scream “Let’s go!” at the top of your lungs. High-fiving cardmates, as well as strangers is standard practice. Post about it on social media, too.

And although it makes me cringe, if you want all witnesses to Sharpie their signatures onto the immaculate frisbee that brought you to this point, do it. As much as I enjoy inserting myself into the way others do things, I’m not affected by this. I do have one tiny request for you, though …

Don’t sign the basket.

Listen, I get it …

This hole-in-one of yours was a long time coming. And the line you smashed to make it happen was so beautiful, it nearly brought tears to the eyes of those nearby. An improbable outcome, on that day with that throw and that disc, you were God’s tender mercy for the disc golf world.

We’re all very impressed.

But while the disc golf community is happy to rally around your improbable accomplishment, believe it or not, there IS a shelf-life on this kind of support. It instantly ends the moment you start defacing course baskets in an attempt for your 15 seconds of fame to reach immortality.

The rage-filled reaction makes sense.

From start to finish, think about what goes into a disc golf course. First, a realistic location must be identified. Once one’s found, the cutting of the city’s red tape can begin – there’s lots of it.

Assuming you progress past this point, course design and preparation begin. This is serious work, as trees don’t naturally grow in fairway friendly ways. From there, let the fund-raising start, as permanent baskets and concrete teepads aren’t cheap. Then, of course, there’s course maintenance. And not just when your local disc golf club feels like it – this is year-round stuff.

That’s a lot of blood, sweat and tears for some random ace-hunter to overlook en route to vandalism. Yes, that’s a strong word, but that’s exactly what it is – a self-centered eyesore.

Thanks, but no thanks.

These are all things I hate to see on disc golf courses: unleashed dogs, bluetooth speakers, public pot-smoking, mammoth groups of golfers, etc. But as frustrating as I find each of these items, they’re all annoyances that are here today and gone tomorrow – they’re not following me.

However, turning the band of a basket into an autograph booklet for you and your buddies sticks around for the long haul. It’s ugly; it’s annoying. And frankly, it’s flat-out disrespectful to those who not only talk about growing the sport, but get off their butts and do something about it.

Put the permanent marker away.

Act like you’ve aced before.

With karma on your side, you probably will again …

And soon.

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